Merry Christmas.

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. 

Although i see my family every sunday... 

This particular gathering is special. 

Why? well because its a time that you remember - where you can appreciate what you have. 

Through all the hard times that every family shares, this is a day you remember all of the good times and be thankful that you have a family to share them with. and remember that magic does exist... if you look back on all the young years. If you just believe.  

Everyone is always so into KNOWING THE TRUTH and the reality in EVERYTHING. But just think... was christmas more magical when santa was the biggest thing you looked forward to? So for all you people in this world who just need to know every little thing and wont sit back and relax.... just know, things are much more magical in life if you sit back and relax. and enjoy the show.. :)

A lesson i learned today - If something negative happens... dont go into negative assumptions of WHY. Because you never know. in time - if you just give a positive reaction... you might learn that the happening was never negative in the first place. 

:)

and it might just turn out perfectly. so why bother bad thoughts in the first place?

i love you

oh wait sorry... wrong txt. 

What if something just like that actually happend?

basically

ahah I love my friends. just sitting around talking till 1 am is the best thing in the world. And also watching a terrific 90's movie with spectacular music in it. Teaching the youngings what highschool life is really like, and what to watch out for. it made me realize so much myself on how different highschool is from jr high, or even let alone, college. I'm so glad im with the friends im with today. without them i dont even know what i could make out of myself. 

Doubt.

Do boys with guitars and vocal chords like to melt hearts?

And put girls across the globe in heartache pains?

Anyways... 

I've hit the day of doubt.

But then i remember

The final glance

And now, i don't even know.

Often times i have come to fall-

for the way your eyes tell a story.

And then i remember

"well... look how successful that turned out to be"

I'm fine with this pace. 

All i want to decide is if I'm just wasting time. 

What is so amazing about this? 

My mind could actually let me sleep if i wanted to. 

And yes- i have had insomnia for the past week. well, haha, kinda. 

- i Have had a really hard time falling asleep. 

awake, alert, alive

I have a dream that keeps me awake, awake. 

I have a dream that keeps me alert, alert.

I have a dream that keeps me alive, alive.

And sometimes, my dreams are so beautiful

That my mind goes on overdrive by the thoughts that are generated. 

An explosion of hearts. 

Heads up, minds open.

... Look Closer

"I'd always heard your entire life flashes before your eyes before you die. 

First of all, that one second isn't a second at all. 

It stretches on forever like an ocean of time. 

For me it was lying on my back at boy scout camp watching falling stars.

And yellow leaves from the maple trees that blind our street. 

Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper. 

And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. 

And Janey. (and Janey). 

and Carolyn. 

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. 

But its hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and its too much. 

My heart fills up like a balloon thats about to burst. 

... Then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold onto it. 

And then it flows through me like rain, 

and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. 

You have no idea what I'm talking about I'm sure. 

But don't worry. 

you will some day. "

                      

                                                                                                            - American Beauty

I just watched one of the most amazing movies ever made. 

I am actually tearing up. It was so good and it had such a great life lesson. 

Beautifully made and directed and written.... and just everything about it!

When i was told to rent this movie, this is not what i expected. 

And when i started watching it, i felt "This movie is WHACK!" 

and i was uncomfortable watching it because of the twisted story.

But it taught me... I am so lucky for everything i have. And no i don't have a lot...

But i have a great family

And i have happiness and friends that let me be me. 

I don't need to lie to impress people... or seem impressive. 

And i am just so glad that i enjoy the beauty of life. 

After watching this movie i think i'll start to see the world in different ways. 

Life....

       what a beautiful thing. 

Watch this movie- and then discuss it with me. I don't want to spoil anything but man oh man i want to discuss this movie with someoneeeee! 

meeeeeeeeeeeeh

It hurts. i feel like i could be penny lane one day. 

But it hurts to know its all in game that can be played in fame. 

"I've fallen in love with the wrong person" the young girl says.

"But he inspires me out of all truth that this world can offer". 

Look away, and just remember what you've felt. 

The only thing to keep things good-

Is to walk away before they get bad. 

His words will inspire the world

You don't inspire his words

The world don't inspire you

You do not inspire the world.

"So what am i? a broken record swept away?"

You are the BAND-AID they call it. 

You give the love you feel for them 

Which helps them climb to the top.

There was no garuntee in your position

Nothing but good memories of past times

There was no garuntee in your position

That you were to be remembered and brought along. 

For:

It's the friends along the way

And the world you would have never seen

And the life lessons you can only catch here- 

The place and feeling, we like to call home. 

Living the unrealistic free life?

Almost Famous has to be one of my favorite movies. Like, in the top 10. It totally explains the way i just dream my life to be. On the road with friends, singing songs to pass time by, expressing your feelings through music and art, and not having too many responsibilities. But then people say this act is not "the real world". So i wonder, if your in this world thats not "Real"... then what is it? A "fake" world? because time is passing by and we are all alive breathing the same air, so what makes this unrealistic? Every day i imagine what a life would be like, maybe living like Penny Lane, or even a character like Huckleberry Finn... No responsibilities, doing what i want, enjoying life through nature and friends. - - 

"I got out amongst the driftwood, and then laid down in the bottom of the canoe and let her float. I laid there, and had a good rest and a smoke out of my pipe, looking away into the sky; not a cloud in it. The sky looks ever so deep when you lay down on your back in the moonshine; i never knowed it before. And how far a body can hear on the water such nights!"

- Huckleberry Finn

The reason why i wrote this quote down, was because i think of this describes perfection. Sitting there in silence looking at the sky listening to the world around you. Times like these are so rare for the common person, and the way this is described puts me in that place. If anyone was to ever ask me "What's your favorite piece of artwork?" I would say the sky. I find the sky the most interesting thing to look at, because it constantly changes, and it never ends. Sometimes the shapes in either the clouds or the stars can answer your questions, and the different colors of the sky helps your imagination of the possibilities in life. - - I don't want to be held down anymore. I just want to live free surrounded in the things that i love.