Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Passion #1 (The Phantom Of The Opera)

Passion #1

The Phantom of the Opera is my number one comfort. I have been listening to it a lot this week. For some reason it is like my lullaby. It puts me into a calm mood after the worst has occurred. It made me remember the time in my life where I watched it every day. I guess I put fourth my passion into objects because I'm cursed at love.... well at least the phantom of the opera will never disappoint me. Ironically i wore my phantom shirt today. And i also own the phantom bracelet and the book. I think I might read it again someday. I even know all the lyrics to the songs . I've seen the broadway play, and that was one of my happy days. Another good memory that phantom brings me is walking out of choir down the long choir hallway with my old friend Erin. We would split the headphones and listen to the 13 minute song "Down Once More" and sing along theatrically to it. I even remember the first time i watched this movie.I was at my uncles apartment and I started watching it halfway through and i couldn't take my eyes off of it. One of my tattoo ideas (if i ever get a tattoo) is probably an art from from something of the movie. Possibly the rose with the black bow? who knows. :D

Sunday, July 26, 2009

a walk to remember

How can a movie be so beautiful.
just watched a walk to remember. 
i love that movie.
it makes me cry. 
titanic too.

im not an emotional person in life
but movies for some reason really spark that trait in me. 

Friday, July 24, 2009


Part of me wants to hold on to my childhood
and also live life based on the simple works that make me happy
settle down slowly in nothing too fancy. and just live my youth freely while it lasts

But then the other part of me wants to set up my future to become a successful woman. 
this part of me knows ill keep myself living, but will i be happy in the major workplace? 

i cant decide.
and i have to figure this out soon. 
my college awaits...


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Figures, im really disappointed in you.

Dear Mrs. ______

The funny thing is,
your just like your mother. 
The way you talk, 
the way you dress,
The way you know what your doing is wrong
And it's a bad habit that keeps poisoning your life
But you do it anyway...
Your cries of self pity are all true
and you should keep crying until you grow up.
We have suffered as a family through the hardships in life,
but we don't repeat mistakes as much as you do. 
Go ahead and rake up people for your team.
You never even liked them anyway,
But its obvious now your desperate,
Our slap in your face made you a better person to them.
Well i'm glad you can be a better person with out us. 
Because we don't want you in our life.
You caused an earthquake that should have never shook. 
But our feet trembled and we grew far apart.
With my mind full of anger, all i can say is
That i'm glad this canyon is between us.
You'll just hear my echos a few miles away.
The echo you wished to see the birth of. 
I know you.
And i know your suffering. 

( Have fun listening to my echos of laughter. 
You'll never get it back. )


(I never really liked you anyway.)

I like the way you call me late at night 
to vent about a stupid girl
I like the way the very next day
You have her in a twirl. 
Cause you a lie, a cheat, 
and I'm just beat from trusting.
From falling
From failing 
in your game. 

I swallowed your trust
from all that lust
towards words and unrevealed
secrets meant to stay untold
Now doubt is all i have to hold.

I never really liked you anyway
But for some silly odd reason i had to play
In your game of disguise and lies
i was stupid to believe your empty word. 
Because i already knew
Already knew
your a life long chum with a heavy guilty heart. 

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Someone, Find The Cure.

I saw through my peripherals because I hate the fact I'm looking. 
But I love the fact that your there.
Just one look and my body's turning inside-out. 
These butterflies have the sharpest wings
And I can feel them creep with their gentile arms strolling.
The reality behind this beauty.

To look into the eye of the powerful being
Turns me petrified and cold to the touch.
Turns me to a mess with tapping fingers and fidgeting hands.
I pray you don't see the tears in my eyes.
Because they're not due to sadness
They're not due to happiness
They're due to this illness, this emotion unknown. 
There is no name for what I feel when I see you
It is not love, it is not hate, but a simple way of wishing
A simple way of knowing
Our paths went the wrong ways. 
We messed with justification

Saturday, July 4, 2009

LYRICS- Ryan Cabrera

This segment of a song goes out to someone special to me. 
This song played while having a conversation that related to this, 
and I thought of you. <3

"I've waited all my life to cross this line 
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you meant me!"

- Ryan Cabrera