Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas.

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. 
Although i see my family every sunday... 
This particular gathering is special. 
Why? well because its a time that you remember - where you can appreciate what you have. 
Through all the hard times that every family shares, this is a day you remember all of the good times and be thankful that you have a family to share them with. and remember that magic does exist... if you look back on all the young years. If you just believe.  
Everyone is always so into KNOWING THE TRUTH and the reality in EVERYTHING. But just think... was christmas more magical when santa was the biggest thing you looked forward to? So for all you people in this world who just need to know every little thing and wont sit back and relax.... just know, things are much more magical in life if you sit back and relax. and enjoy the show.. :)
A lesson i learned today - If something negative happens... dont go into negative assumptions of WHY. Because you never know. in time - if you just give a positive reaction... you might learn that the happening was never negative in the first place. 

:)

and it might just turn out perfectly. so why bother bad thoughts in the first place?

Monday, December 22, 2008

i love you

oh wait sorry... wrong txt. 

What if something just like that actually happend?

basically

ahah I love my friends. just sitting around talking till 1 am is the best thing in the world. And also watching a terrific 90's movie with spectacular music in it. Teaching the youngings what highschool life is really like, and what to watch out for. it made me realize so much myself on how different highschool is from jr high, or even let alone, college. I'm so glad im with the friends im with today. without them i dont even know what i could make out of myself. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Doubt.


Do boys with guitars and vocal chords like to melt hearts?
And put girls across the globe in heartache pains?

Anyways... 

I've hit the day of doubt.
But then i remember
The final glance
And now, i don't even know.
Often times i have come to fall-
for the way your eyes tell a story.
And then i remember
"well... look how successful that turned out to be"

I'm fine with this pace. 

All i want to decide is if I'm just wasting time. 
What is so amazing about this? 
My mind could actually let me sleep if i wanted to. 

And yes- i have had insomnia for the past week. well, haha, kinda. 
- i Have had a really hard time falling asleep. 

Monday, December 15, 2008

awake, alert, alive

I have a dream that keeps me awake, awake. 
I have a dream that keeps me alert, alert.
I have a dream that keeps me alive, alive.

And sometimes, my dreams are so beautiful
That my mind goes on overdrive by the thoughts that are generated. 




An explosion of hearts. 
Heads up, minds open.

Friday, December 12, 2008

... Look Closer


"I'd always heard your entire life flashes before your eyes before you die. 
First of all, that one second isn't a second at all. 
It stretches on forever like an ocean of time. 
For me it was lying on my back at boy scout camp watching falling stars.
And yellow leaves from the maple trees that blind our street. 
Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper
And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. 
And Janey. (and Janey). 
and Carolyn. 
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. 
But its hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. 
Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and its too much. 
My heart fills up like a balloon thats about to burst. 
... Then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold onto it. 
And then it flows through me like rain, 
and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. 

You have no idea what I'm talking about I'm sure. 

But don't worry. 

you will some day. "
                      
                                                                                                            - American Beauty

I just watched one of the most amazing movies ever made. 
I am actually tearing up. It was so good and it had such a great life lesson. 
Beautifully made and directed and written.... and just everything about it!
When i was told to rent this movie, this is not what i expected. 
And when i started watching it, i felt "This movie is WHACK!" 
and i was uncomfortable watching it because of the twisted story.
But it taught me... I am so lucky for everything i have. And no i don't have a lot...
But i have a great family
And i have happiness and friends that let me be me
I don't need to lie to impress people... or seem impressive. 
And i am just so glad that i enjoy the beauty of life. 
After watching this movie i think i'll start to see the world in different ways. 

Life....
       what a beautiful thing. 



Watch this movie- and then discuss it with me. I don't want to spoil anything but man oh man i want to discuss this movie with someoneeeee! 

Thursday, December 11, 2008

meeeeeeeeeeeeh


It hurts. i feel like i could be penny lane one day. 

But it hurts to know its all in game that can be played in fame. 
"I've fallen in love with the wrong person" the young girl says.
"But he inspires me out of all truth that this world can offer". 
Look away, and just remember what you've felt. 
The only thing to keep things good-
Is to walk away before they get bad. 
His words will inspire the world
You don't inspire his words
The world don't inspire you
You do not inspire the world.
"So what am i? a broken record swept away?"
You are the BAND-AID they call it. 
You give the love you feel for them 
Which helps them climb to the top.
There was no garuntee in your position
Nothing but good memories of past times
There was no garuntee in your position
That you were to be remembered and brought along. 
For:
It's the friends along the way
And the world you would have never seen
And the life lessons you can only catch here- 
The place and feeling, we like to call home

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Living the unrealistic free life?


Almost Famous has to be one of my favorite movies. Like, in the top 10. It totally explains the way i just dream my life to be. On the road with friends, singing songs to pass time by, expressing your feelings through music and art, and not having too many responsibilities. But then people say this act is not "the real world". So i wonder, if your in this world thats not "Real"... then what is it? A "fake" world? because time is passing by and we are all alive breathing the same air, so what makes this unrealistic? Every day i imagine what a life would be like, maybe living like Penny Lane, or even a character like Huckleberry Finn... No responsibilities, doing what i want, enjoying life through nature and friends. - - 
"I got out amongst the driftwood, and then laid down in the bottom of the canoe and let her float. I laid there, and had a good rest and a smoke out of my pipe, looking away into the sky; not a cloud in it. The sky looks ever so deep when you lay down on your back in the moonshine; i never knowed it before. And how far a body can hear on the water such nights!"
- Huckleberry Finn
The reason why i wrote this quote down, was because i think of this describes perfection. Sitting there in silence looking at the sky listening to the world around you. Times like these are so rare for the common person, and the way this is described puts me in that place. If anyone was to ever ask me "What's your favorite piece of artwork?" I would say the sky. I find the sky the most interesting thing to look at, because it constantly changes, and it never ends. Sometimes the shapes in either the clouds or the stars can answer your questions, and the different colors of the sky helps your imagination of the possibilities in life. - - I don't want to be held down anymore. I just want to live free surrounded in the things that i love. 

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Passion

Well, it's good to know at least 2 people read my blog. =]. 

Passion:
why am i so behind on passion? 
In many ways i can find myself staring at a ceiling 
not feeling anything but the light hitting my pupils. 
I breathe only because they tell me i have to. 
I walk because its where i have to go. 
I stand there not really giving effort
because i don't need to. 
... Well explain to me
Why i had a sudden break through?
Stepping out to run about 
It wasn't like me at this time of day. 
No one was watching, but i did something for me.
if it weren't for rules and regulations
I would be staring at a ceiling the majority of my days. 
But for some reason, i had that extra step that made me want to catch you
To catch you and smile. To feel something new. 
Do i need that new feeling? no. 
Do i rely on that new feeling? no. 
Do i want that new feeling? ... sure
..... Lack of passion.
Is it a disease? Because it scares me sometimes
Wondering if i will end up being okay
Or just regretting. 
Regretting the air i have never breathed
Regretting the ground i have never set a foot
Regretting the way staring at lights
has done nothing but make me blind. 
Blind to see that if i want to
i can. 
But... the question is, DO i want to?
... Lack of passion.
Theres only a few things i've found passion for
But for some reason lately
I have been preparing myself for nothing 
because i feel like its too late. 
But its never too late. 
whatever...
i just want to sleep. 
. . . l a c k  o f  p a s s i o n 

Sunday, December 7, 2008

The way i take a silent answer.

[So i sorta hate it when you really just need a voice to be your helping hand in a situation that you cant figure out yourself, but then anyone that you trust talking to about it has better things to do and not enough energy to help you out, which is whatever, no biggie.... but the fact; that if thats the case, where you can't find another voice, you go and do something totally stupid that you regret... and you just wish there could be at least someone who cared enough at that very moment where the stupid act you did would have never happened.]

Confession: i did something stupid. and now i have to dig myself out of this hole.
I have a problem with directly hurting peoples feelings. 
- - is that a good or bad thing?

But the thing is- is that I Don't know what I want. At one moment I want this, but the very next i want that.
And a very good point was brought up that "you don't need what you want" so why not just go with not having anything at all and not having to deal with this mess?.... well I guess the reason for that is cause I need to make my first messed up choice for once. I need to get it over with. my whole life I've always been so focused on skipping that step. But i guess you really need to take every single step to get to the top. 

Do i not make any sense? 
well if not.. good. I don't want you getting inside my head. there are only moments where i will allow people to get inside my head, so if you pass that up, you pass up a very rare moment. I want you to WONDER what's going on inside my head. 
Make something up- thats what imaginations are for.

Well anyway by the by, i have been having trouble sleeping due to this. Doesn't that just sound so stupid? but its true. thats why I'm up at 1:24 am typing this blog. 

[another]
Confession: I cant hold back and its starting to scare me. People don't believe me and tell me either "it's all in your head" or "you just want to be like him" ... but really... it's not. I started to scare myself when i found i could not stop. i couldn't hold back. It's like there was no wall to holding it inside my mind. Each little nerve i possibly have was shouting "do it! just let it go and you'll feel better"... well i do admit it does make me feel so much better afterwards. but the problem is that i cant stop after that. i keep doing it again and again. And i am embarrassed. Even when i am alone. i am embarrassed. - - They refuse to let me know the truth, and i think thats what makes it harder. 





Who even reads this anyway? if you do. reply, cause I'm actually kind of curious. 

Monday, December 1, 2008

Prepare

For a full week of broken hearts. 
me you and everyone we know
Throw off the rocks that settle on your back
And end the things that drag us on and on
Into a never ending road. 

Just got off a great phone call that figured out everything thats good for me right now. 
... I am too nice and am too afraid to  hurt peoples feelings for what's best for me. 
So tomorrow over coffee and a long drive
I'll finally do the things i need to do. 
Wish for my confidence?

Snow Snow Snow
I can't believe there's snow!
BAD: My sister got in a car accident this morning (but she's okay!)
GOOD: I got to go sledding! it was very fun... and drink hot chocolate. 

& Watched IRON MAN finally, with matt and max.  
(So much temptation.)

Interesting story: someone on my bus had a seizure today. But then she said "oh don't worry about it, its normal... it happens all the time" and then i thought to myself, "Normal?". Im guessing she has epilepsy. How lucky i am to not have to worry about the hardships of life to that extent. And then i heard her say something else that was interesting. Someone asked her a question and she answered. "Well first i was looking at the spirit of my body" and i couldn't hear the rest she was saying. - This comes to the point - - I have been thinking about death and stuff lately (because in american studies we talk about it) and i am so positive there IS something after you die. It has something to do with energy, and your spirit. hmm. things like these make me go into deep thought. 

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Passion in Action.

So i came across this free video download on itunes, ("Beautiful Ones" by Suede), which pretty much explained my passion for film. The music video industry is one of the things i want to get into, because there can be so much meaning and art that goes into a 2 or 3 minute music video. 
After seeing the video "Word disassociation" by Neil Cicierega, I sort of saw how a lot of effort can really be put into a music vid., and since then i have been WAITING for someone (more professional of course) to create a music video that has the same "genius" jist to it. 
Now i believe this song is actually quite old. The vocals arent the best either, but i can say they sound pretty original (or more like.. unique) as a band... and to be honest I know absolutely no history of this band or song at all. But the main thing that caught my eye was the art direction of this video. I really liked it... and I could say it's much like MY style in a way. Hopefully someday I can create something as artistic as this. Now... maybe you don't really think its all that amazing, well thats because i really look into things much different than most people. For instance, when people saw the movie "Twilight", a majority of them HATED it and said it was "nothing like the book"... And the other half LOVED it and said "EDWARD IS A SEXGOD!" ...Okay, well i came out of that movie not focusing on those aspects of the movie, but focusing on, "Wow! That art direction was so amazing!". Thats where i know this is my passion. The unique things are my favorite. And every time i see something new and extreme in a music video... I can really fall into the song and the picture and feel my passion in action.  

*If anyone knows of any music videos that would be good for me to study, HOLLER. I'd love to hear/watch! 

Sunday, November 23, 2008

C'mon boy...

Hit me with your best shot. 

So i never thought i'd say this. 
But I'm here with a semi open mind... 
so lets just roll out the rug and see how dirty it can get. 
Im through with waiting for nothing,
So loosely sway around my way
as If i could hear the words you can perfectly say
Lets just see what you can do. 

Saturday, November 22, 2008

So i've never been so alone

Last night... hung out with myself
Today... went to go see twilight by myself
Tonight... ate dinner by myself

I've been by myself this whole weekend so far
People keep asking me if I'm depressed..
no, I'm not...  but there is something triggering this...
I've been having headaches every single day. 
and i seem to be gazing off into my own world lately.
at school... i just sit there. the lectures just fly right by. 
For some reason I'm longing for things i cant have,
but avoiding the things i can easily have.
What's wrong with me?
Im so strange. 


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

ilml. 

but yet; sometimes it may seem as you have that perfect life for a moment
but then the world just happens to turn around. 
The things that are considered "Perfect" to you... you can't have. 
     I've never been one who has too many "Wants" or "Needs"
Im just here. Living life through water, music, food, and friends. 
I tend to seize any possible moment that I enjoy, which i think is the reason for my happiness. 
But then when i look back and think of what's on the other side of the wall between reality and "lalaland" (Literally), it squeezes my happiness out like a sponge and just makes me worry. And thats my weakness. i seem to worry too much. Like right now i worry that I'm just setting myself up for breaking someone, and also setting myself up for breaking myself. - - my mind hasn't left that issue for a while now and its sort of taking over.
     Impossible is not a word in my dictionary, which can be a problem sometimes. I never really let go of some things, or some one, that i really long for. 
so what i just try to tell myself : I think i'll just wait and see

Monday, November 17, 2008

Wow. i haven't posted in a while... well I got a new twitter and its www.twitter.com/lalalovex3. I find myself updating it constantly. So check it out! 

Ill post something later. right now theres too much on my tired mind. 

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Kairos?


So tomorrow i head off to Kairos...
Don't know where it is
Don't know who's going
Don't know what's gonna happen
Don't know what my schedule is
Won't know what time it is
Won't know what's happening beyond the walls of this place

Im really excited... yet a bit scared

I hope I'm not expecting too much, because all i hear is how it's so amazing. 
Well I'm just glad i'll be spending my time there with my sister and cousin =]. 

What happens this weekend can change my life, or make my life remain the same... who knows. 

And I'm excited for when I come back, to have a cup of tea with jess and talk about it. 
but I wont be posting on this bulletin what happened, because it is supposed to remain a secret amongst other kairos-ers. 


Oh and fun update - - Jess died my hair today. its a tint of red... i wanted a little bit more red but for now its a good start :) i love it. 

And i don't know how much i can realize, how much i love my friends. 
They really make me love the person I am today. 

I made somebody's day today...
i think he actually looks up to me a bit. It's cute
Because he realized that being the social norm, isn't what you HAVE to be. 
There are better things in life. 

But you know what i have noticed about guys
... they really like to talk about themselves.. ALOT. like they never ask questions to care about a girls life... 
All that matters is theirs. and the girls are just there to listen. Well let me say i love to listen, and i love to be there for people...
But there's this one guy who asks me questions...
I look at him differently.. (in a good way)
... its really cute too. how he cares. and he's interested. 


nice guys win. 

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Its all overrr :(










Well... i actually am pretty sad.
The school musical of my junior year is officially over. 
Although it is only 1/5th of my school year, it sure hits the lottery for being the best part. It depresses me that it will be the last musical EVER with some of the amazing talented people that participated in it. These people were like my family. Even if they gave me a legit reason to hate them, there is no where i could possibly find in my heart to share a dislike or hatred towards any of them. I look up to every single senior that was in the musical this year because they all had one thing in common that they had to offer - - They weren't afraid to be their weird crazy selves. And its freaky how deeply and hidden each and every one of them mean to me, and same way around. Sometimes you really think your just a blob of color is some ones life, because life never gives you the feedback that you always secretly crave for, but it turns out each and everyone of the people involved this year all consist of a masterpiece in my life... For the past few days before the show ended, i was thoroughly convinced that i would be so happy once i got out of that hole where it was just the old bittersweet friends i used to have. But i then looked past all of those old bittersweet friends and realized, yeah they happen to be part of this musical, but what about all of the other amazing people? And once i turned to them, i saw a whole new world. If one person that is important to you doesn't accept you anymore, then don't quit. don't let them be a fence that keeps you locked out of your confidence in making new friends. That was my mistake. So to the crazy two months of odd sexual tension and a tour through hell- - Thank you to all who have participated. I love you all. 

Please take a moment to enjoy these EXTREMELY strange pictures...

This is me. 


Friday, October 31, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUICY HO-MAN!

How ironic does it have to be where i have production week.... a week where i have no time to do anything other than my shows, and then a huge 250 point paper due. Well im just glad i just finished it. i hope it was successful.... if i fail the paper i fail the class... oh man. im just glad i dont have huge college plans... its letting be breathe
but on a better note.....


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA!!! I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCHHHHHH!!!!!

well im at school... so ill post more later :)

Friday, October 24, 2008

i have been at school for about ... 70 hours this week. and maybe have gotten 15 full hours of sleep? and then tomorrow i have practice from 7 to 1. This is really crazy and i cant handle myself! well... i hope i get a chance to relax this week. 

Come see the show! WOO.. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

what is this word... "Drama" ?

Nothing makes me laugh more than someone who claims that there is "SO MUCH drama" when it doesn't seem to be present, and then starts to create drama with people because they think those people are starting drama. And the someone goes and bitches about the other person about how that other person is starting drama.... When REALLY... there is no drama at all.. DRAMA ... DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA.... that word is so overrated. REALLY FOLKS... THERES no such thing as drama... it is a state of mind. It only a word that describes someone who freaks out over nothing, and interprets every little thing into something bad.

And you know what makes me feel so good... when that other person who was bitched at doesnt go off and tell the world how the someone bitched at them...

It is really hard to do. 

but accomplished :)


there is no drama here now.


well except for the suffering someone that has a mind revolved around drama. 
i feel bad for those people. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

so i missed my ride to school and im sitting on the couch waiting for my parents to wake up... so i ponder this-

So i figured something...
School is just... not for me. 
I can't seem to focus on any homework... it takes me a few days to write a paper cause i keep getting distracted. If ill be bringing my homework downstairs it means i pass the piano, which means i drop my stuff and just start playing piano. Or if i am holding a pen in my hand while writing, i will start to doodle to the side, which makes me flip another notebook page and just draw something. I'll be sitting at the computer typing a paper, but then see that little icon at the corner of my screen called "PHOTOSHOP". i cant keep my cursor off of it. Now... i enjoy writing in this blog, but that is because there is no limitations. Writing a paper is hard if you have to BS two pages of "I went to the museum and i totally was reminded of this and this and this is what i learned". I want to express myself in truth and not two pages of BS. The only time i've ever enjoyed school is when i have a project... and thats because it was always a piece of artwork that i put all of my effort into. Even in my art class... i give more effort than the standards. And its strange because when people are done doing their crappy non-effort project, they come to watch me stare at the computer screen putting all the detail possible into what i do. i just cant leave it not up to par. 

So as i sit here in the morning, missing school... this is what i have decided. What i should have been doing was writing my culture project for history... but i got extremely distracted. 

And then when your reading this your probably thinking "well what about your future!"

Well.. i don't expect high standards of my future, but i have a dream. All i need is happiness and a great family and friends. And that is my main focus on the future. if im happy... i believe everything will fall into place. 

Monday, October 20, 2008


I can honestly say...

I had a good day :) 

everything is back and adjusted to how it should be. 

And oddly this should be the most stressful week of my life, but somehow i've figured out how to make stressful situations... un-stressful. 

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Oh yes and one more thing....

This might sound really stupid and odd of me that i would say this. but idk maybe i thought id give it a shot to hopefully make things better. 

Some really sucky things have been happening lately.... and i was thinking.... haha this sounds so stupid... but... make me feel better? it would be nice to feel extra special for a moment. 

realizationssssssssss

So cute. 

So from viewing the life and relationships around me, and really just getting to know all of my guy friends, i have decided what kind of guy is right for me... And i have been thinking of this for a while so i just want to write this down. 
I just want a guy that would lay under the stars with me, and discuss in deep and meaningful conversations about anything. And he would actually ask ME questions, instead of answering his own questions to himself. His interest in me would be my perfect reminder of why i love who i am today. My mind and heart would be so set, that i would never have to worry about him being "stupid" when I'm not there... And when i'm not there, he could enjoy himself without doing dumb things, or sit in the corner only wanting to talk or think about me... as if he could enjoy himself as an individual. Also he would create some work of effort or art into our memories shared together, or his feelings for me. Such as a small little booklet of random inside jokes to look back upon, and to also create a future to excite for. My type of guy also would love the person he is today, and he would mutually "want" me as much as i want him. And he would be creative and artistic, and prove to me money isn't a factor to live a good life. Our Family and friends would be the key... And we could easily spend the best times of our lives watcing tv, or going to chicago. He would be adventurous with me and not want to play WOW all day. He wouldn't be cocky and he would be understanding.

Thats not too much to hope for is it?

Well until then, i'll enjoy what i have. Because I'm happy :)

annd I have given up taking a step to fancy a guy. Is that a bad thing?

Changing the subject here - - - 
so last night stayed out with the girls from the musical and TEEPEED The guy's houses. IT was extremely fun, and my team name was wakawakachoochoo. And then tonight i stayed out and surrand-wrapped someones car. So basically its been two crazy nights in a row... but the bad news with all of this good fun news, is that i think im coming down with something bad. And this is the TWOO WEEKS OF MY LIFE that i can't be sick, because its Techweek for our school musical. IF im sick, i die. A slow and painful death..which i just cant deal with right now. 

oh please dont be sick :( 


and to my friend who i know secretly has a crush on this one person...

go get em tiger

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Chemistry Class

So im sitting in Chemistry class right now. I love subsitutes on a half day, because you do absolutely nothing. Were all sitting on countertops on the laptops and some kid is playing some war game it looks like. the lights are offf and i am enjoying my pen that lights up. gah im bored. oh my gatz. So check out taylors blog for the GLINGO because it is totally awesome.

Oh so Theres this guy at my school who looks like mike chorvat. every time i pass him i laugh inside. he's a fittie fosh.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Want


This is a world where everyone is jealous of each other. 
They take glory for what they have at the beginning
But then that just fades into a normal life. 
And you just want something that someone else has. 
Once you get it, there's always something else that you can find that you want. 
Thats why they say money doesn't equal happiness... because once you have the money, all you want is more and more. Nothing is ever good enough. 
I always wonder though, if i had that ONE thing... would i want anything else in my life?
I will never know. which is what sucks. 
oh WANT. i sometimes envy you. 

Sunday, October 12, 2008

My kind of town, Chicago is.


Hit the sky fall back down and take the fall. 
= my life
So today i went to chicago with the LSG. :) What a great time we had. I love how we all just click together so well like we have known each other for the longest time. Our destinations were Ed Debevicks, Urban Outfitters, and American Apparel. And on the way also stopped by angels and kings and had the balls after standing in front of it for 10 minutes like minors, to finally go in and ask how to get to american apparel. Funny thing is when we walked in there was a whole camera crew in there shooting something (but couldn't see exactly what because it was around the corner) and they all gave us the strangest stares. So i have a feeling something good was going down. And heard a voice that matched Pete's pretty well. It was so weird. Ed's was fun and argument-filled. 
And i think it is so weird that i was soo tired that i ended up falling asleep on the bus ride back to the train station. woops. 


Saturday, October 11, 2008

Nick & Norah.

"Other bands, it's about sex. Or pain. Or some fantasy. But The Beatles, they knew what they were doing. You know the reason The Beatles made it so big? 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand.' First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That's what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a bj or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can't hide. Every single successful love story has those unbearable and unbearably exciting moments of hand-holding." - Dev; Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

I saw this movie tonight, and i could just relate so much to my life. I felt every single emotion spread in this movie. The acting was incredible, and so was the cinematography. The city was just so beautifully shot, and the characters were all so perfect. The story was great too, and it had GOOD music! It was like, my soul-mate movie. When it comes out I'm gonna buy it and watch it again, and again, and again. And the best part, is that i saw it with all of my besties. I love our time spent together :) 

Thursday, October 9, 2008

HEAAAD ache-ing


Something is wrong with me... I keep getting these random headaches. And i don't know why. And during school when I'm trying to concentrate but the only thing i can think about is my throbbing head, i seriously feel like I'm going insane.

So in one of my classes, I'm doing a huge report on this guy Ansel Adams. He was a photographer, and i just looked at some of his works, and i got really excited.





Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fog under starry eyed skies


You're quiet and shy.
You just sit there while the crowd moves west.
But your not quiet
Because i know, just know, when you shut those eyes
Words are scrolling through your mind

You lay looking at the sky
And say nothing but a sigh
Let me think with you
Let me lay
There's such a mystery about you
That i just want to convey

Your cold hand soon turns warm in your comfort.
It just seems so easy
How hard could it be?
Well just think about the future
And shout out doubts

This will stay quiet
This will stay shy.

Sunday, October 5, 2008


Your song is my soul melody.
Nothing else matches me so perfectly
Every beat of the base
n'sync with the beat of my heart
In love with your song
As if we were one


Dream on is a distance away

Bittersweet

Well I'm sorry
But your heart will be a breakin'
What we've got here is a curse
Where we'll never get our way

So tonight was a bittersweet night. 
... 1 Michael Thomas is my favorite person in the whole world
... 2 Asians are skilled at cooking
... 3 My friends are the best of the best. from east to west :)

... 1 I can't stop thinking of you
... 2 Its sad I'm immune to this feeling
... 3 It just hurts so bad knowing you'll always be the one
sitting on the sidelines, watching the world stop for the ones you love.

i know i know its unexpected and takes time...
but why do you have to get run over in the process? 
this should be easy...

When is it my turn already
this wait better be worthwhile. 

Don't you ever get that feeling that your on the truman show?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Found out today
That someone has the same guilty pleasure :)
I've realized that i love it so much,
Just sitting there with a best friend
Talking.
About life and what its about
Every thing that we wonder
Everything that we dream.
Words not to exit like a waterfall
But like rain fall, just a little at a time. 
It makes it even better knowing that you don't know everything
And that there's much yet to learn. 
It just makes me excited for tomorrow. 

Friday, September 26, 2008

Frrrrrriday

I was with Jessica and Taylor tonight for about an hour. it was the best night of my whole week. i haven't seen them in a while, and it just reminded me of why i love my life. infinite laughs about things that don't matter to most people. iloveitiloveitiloveit. they are thee best. 

Had a long rehearsal today but it was so much fun. i don't know how many times i can say this, but i love the cast. Anyone who reads this blog should go see the show. It is october 29, 30, 31, and nov. 1st. So take off work take off everything. i would love to have my friends come and support me :) 

And yesssss. it is FINALLY the weekend. sleeping in tomorrow! i am so excited. i love dreaming. :)