Friday, October 31, 2008


How ironic does it have to be where i have production week.... a week where i have no time to do anything other than my shows, and then a huge 250 point paper due. Well im just glad i just finished it. i hope it was successful.... if i fail the paper i fail the class... oh man. im just glad i dont have huge college plans... its letting be breathe
but on a better note.....


well im at school... so ill post more later :)

Friday, October 24, 2008

i have been at school for about ... 70 hours this week. and maybe have gotten 15 full hours of sleep? and then tomorrow i have practice from 7 to 1. This is really crazy and i cant handle myself! well... i hope i get a chance to relax this week. 

Come see the show! WOO.. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

what is this word... "Drama" ?

Nothing makes me laugh more than someone who claims that there is "SO MUCH drama" when it doesn't seem to be present, and then starts to create drama with people because they think those people are starting drama. And the someone goes and bitches about the other person about how that other person is starting drama.... When REALLY... there is no drama at all.. DRAMA ... DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA.... that word is so overrated. REALLY FOLKS... THERES no such thing as drama... it is a state of mind. It only a word that describes someone who freaks out over nothing, and interprets every little thing into something bad.

And you know what makes me feel so good... when that other person who was bitched at doesnt go off and tell the world how the someone bitched at them...

It is really hard to do. 

but accomplished :)

there is no drama here now.

well except for the suffering someone that has a mind revolved around drama. 
i feel bad for those people. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

so i missed my ride to school and im sitting on the couch waiting for my parents to wake up... so i ponder this-

So i figured something...
School is just... not for me. 
I can't seem to focus on any homework... it takes me a few days to write a paper cause i keep getting distracted. If ill be bringing my homework downstairs it means i pass the piano, which means i drop my stuff and just start playing piano. Or if i am holding a pen in my hand while writing, i will start to doodle to the side, which makes me flip another notebook page and just draw something. I'll be sitting at the computer typing a paper, but then see that little icon at the corner of my screen called "PHOTOSHOP". i cant keep my cursor off of it. Now... i enjoy writing in this blog, but that is because there is no limitations. Writing a paper is hard if you have to BS two pages of "I went to the museum and i totally was reminded of this and this and this is what i learned". I want to express myself in truth and not two pages of BS. The only time i've ever enjoyed school is when i have a project... and thats because it was always a piece of artwork that i put all of my effort into. Even in my art class... i give more effort than the standards. And its strange because when people are done doing their crappy non-effort project, they come to watch me stare at the computer screen putting all the detail possible into what i do. i just cant leave it not up to par. 

So as i sit here in the morning, missing school... this is what i have decided. What i should have been doing was writing my culture project for history... but i got extremely distracted. 

And then when your reading this your probably thinking "well what about your future!"

Well.. i don't expect high standards of my future, but i have a dream. All i need is happiness and a great family and friends. And that is my main focus on the future. if im happy... i believe everything will fall into place. 

Monday, October 20, 2008

I can honestly say...

I had a good day :) 

everything is back and adjusted to how it should be. 

And oddly this should be the most stressful week of my life, but somehow i've figured out how to make stressful situations... un-stressful. 

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Oh yes and one more thing....

This might sound really stupid and odd of me that i would say this. but idk maybe i thought id give it a shot to hopefully make things better. 

Some really sucky things have been happening lately.... and i was thinking.... haha this sounds so stupid... but... make me feel better? it would be nice to feel extra special for a moment. 


So cute. 

So from viewing the life and relationships around me, and really just getting to know all of my guy friends, i have decided what kind of guy is right for me... And i have been thinking of this for a while so i just want to write this down. 
I just want a guy that would lay under the stars with me, and discuss in deep and meaningful conversations about anything. And he would actually ask ME questions, instead of answering his own questions to himself. His interest in me would be my perfect reminder of why i love who i am today. My mind and heart would be so set, that i would never have to worry about him being "stupid" when I'm not there... And when i'm not there, he could enjoy himself without doing dumb things, or sit in the corner only wanting to talk or think about me... as if he could enjoy himself as an individual. Also he would create some work of effort or art into our memories shared together, or his feelings for me. Such as a small little booklet of random inside jokes to look back upon, and to also create a future to excite for. My type of guy also would love the person he is today, and he would mutually "want" me as much as i want him. And he would be creative and artistic, and prove to me money isn't a factor to live a good life. Our Family and friends would be the key... And we could easily spend the best times of our lives watcing tv, or going to chicago. He would be adventurous with me and not want to play WOW all day. He wouldn't be cocky and he would be understanding.

Thats not too much to hope for is it?

Well until then, i'll enjoy what i have. Because I'm happy :)

annd I have given up taking a step to fancy a guy. Is that a bad thing?

Changing the subject here - - - 
so last night stayed out with the girls from the musical and TEEPEED The guy's houses. IT was extremely fun, and my team name was wakawakachoochoo. And then tonight i stayed out and surrand-wrapped someones car. So basically its been two crazy nights in a row... but the bad news with all of this good fun news, is that i think im coming down with something bad. And this is the TWOO WEEKS OF MY LIFE that i can't be sick, because its Techweek for our school musical. IF im sick, i die. A slow and painful death..which i just cant deal with right now. 

oh please dont be sick :( 

and to my friend who i know secretly has a crush on this one person...

go get em tiger

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Chemistry Class

So im sitting in Chemistry class right now. I love subsitutes on a half day, because you do absolutely nothing. Were all sitting on countertops on the laptops and some kid is playing some war game it looks like. the lights are offf and i am enjoying my pen that lights up. gah im bored. oh my gatz. So check out taylors blog for the GLINGO because it is totally awesome.

Oh so Theres this guy at my school who looks like mike chorvat. every time i pass him i laugh inside. he's a fittie fosh.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


This is a world where everyone is jealous of each other. 
They take glory for what they have at the beginning
But then that just fades into a normal life. 
And you just want something that someone else has. 
Once you get it, there's always something else that you can find that you want. 
Thats why they say money doesn't equal happiness... because once you have the money, all you want is more and more. Nothing is ever good enough. 
I always wonder though, if i had that ONE thing... would i want anything else in my life?
I will never know. which is what sucks. 
oh WANT. i sometimes envy you. 

Sunday, October 12, 2008

My kind of town, Chicago is.

Hit the sky fall back down and take the fall. 
= my life
So today i went to chicago with the LSG. :) What a great time we had. I love how we all just click together so well like we have known each other for the longest time. Our destinations were Ed Debevicks, Urban Outfitters, and American Apparel. And on the way also stopped by angels and kings and had the balls after standing in front of it for 10 minutes like minors, to finally go in and ask how to get to american apparel. Funny thing is when we walked in there was a whole camera crew in there shooting something (but couldn't see exactly what because it was around the corner) and they all gave us the strangest stares. So i have a feeling something good was going down. And heard a voice that matched Pete's pretty well. It was so weird. Ed's was fun and argument-filled. 
And i think it is so weird that i was soo tired that i ended up falling asleep on the bus ride back to the train station. woops. 

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Nick & Norah.

"Other bands, it's about sex. Or pain. Or some fantasy. But The Beatles, they knew what they were doing. You know the reason The Beatles made it so big? 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand.' First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That's what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a bj or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can't hide. Every single successful love story has those unbearable and unbearably exciting moments of hand-holding." - Dev; Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

I saw this movie tonight, and i could just relate so much to my life. I felt every single emotion spread in this movie. The acting was incredible, and so was the cinematography. The city was just so beautifully shot, and the characters were all so perfect. The story was great too, and it had GOOD music! It was like, my soul-mate movie. When it comes out I'm gonna buy it and watch it again, and again, and again. And the best part, is that i saw it with all of my besties. I love our time spent together :) 

Thursday, October 9, 2008

HEAAAD ache-ing

Something is wrong with me... I keep getting these random headaches. And i don't know why. And during school when I'm trying to concentrate but the only thing i can think about is my throbbing head, i seriously feel like I'm going insane.

So in one of my classes, I'm doing a huge report on this guy Ansel Adams. He was a photographer, and i just looked at some of his works, and i got really excited.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fog under starry eyed skies

You're quiet and shy.
You just sit there while the crowd moves west.
But your not quiet
Because i know, just know, when you shut those eyes
Words are scrolling through your mind

You lay looking at the sky
And say nothing but a sigh
Let me think with you
Let me lay
There's such a mystery about you
That i just want to convey

Your cold hand soon turns warm in your comfort.
It just seems so easy
How hard could it be?
Well just think about the future
And shout out doubts

This will stay quiet
This will stay shy.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Your song is my soul melody.
Nothing else matches me so perfectly
Every beat of the base
n'sync with the beat of my heart
In love with your song
As if we were one

Dream on is a distance away


Well I'm sorry
But your heart will be a breakin'
What we've got here is a curse
Where we'll never get our way

So tonight was a bittersweet night. 
... 1 Michael Thomas is my favorite person in the whole world
... 2 Asians are skilled at cooking
... 3 My friends are the best of the best. from east to west :)

... 1 I can't stop thinking of you
... 2 Its sad I'm immune to this feeling
... 3 It just hurts so bad knowing you'll always be the one
sitting on the sidelines, watching the world stop for the ones you love.

i know i know its unexpected and takes time...
but why do you have to get run over in the process? 
this should be easy...

When is it my turn already
this wait better be worthwhile. 

Don't you ever get that feeling that your on the truman show?