Tuesday, October 21, 2008

so i missed my ride to school and im sitting on the couch waiting for my parents to wake up... so i ponder this-

So i figured something...
School is just... not for me. 
I can't seem to focus on any homework... it takes me a few days to write a paper cause i keep getting distracted. If ill be bringing my homework downstairs it means i pass the piano, which means i drop my stuff and just start playing piano. Or if i am holding a pen in my hand while writing, i will start to doodle to the side, which makes me flip another notebook page and just draw something. I'll be sitting at the computer typing a paper, but then see that little icon at the corner of my screen called "PHOTOSHOP". i cant keep my cursor off of it. Now... i enjoy writing in this blog, but that is because there is no limitations. Writing a paper is hard if you have to BS two pages of "I went to the museum and i totally was reminded of this and this and this is what i learned". I want to express myself in truth and not two pages of BS. The only time i've ever enjoyed school is when i have a project... and thats because it was always a piece of artwork that i put all of my effort into. Even in my art class... i give more effort than the standards. And its strange because when people are done doing their crappy non-effort project, they come to watch me stare at the computer screen putting all the detail possible into what i do. i just cant leave it not up to par. 

So as i sit here in the morning, missing school... this is what i have decided. What i should have been doing was writing my culture project for history... but i got extremely distracted. 

And then when your reading this your probably thinking "well what about your future!"

Well.. i don't expect high standards of my future, but i have a dream. All i need is happiness and a great family and friends. And that is my main focus on the future. if im happy... i believe everything will fall into place. 

1 comment:

brandUn DeShay said...

i totally fell ya. im the same way. at least you realized it early on.

i realized, you only get one life. literally. think bout that. so you really should use this blessing to do as your soul desires.

you wont be happy, maybe even unable to function without doing what you dream, so dont waste time. do it.

if i can help, i shall. ha im goin to be a livin testament that it pays to turn reality into a dream...then wake up from the nightmare.