Thursday, April 30, 2009

Just Try To Cry

This is sad
It truly is
And I'm currently searching for the reason
It might be because
As a child they tell you, you will never be the winner
Fairy tales aren't true
And you will never win the lottery
So don't even try
It's stuck in my head that I'll never get the gold
But sometimes
A little light shines bright
And I will reach for it
To the point where I'm on my toes
And then realize its only a firefly passing by
It's light faded before my eyes

They've taught me the confidence of many souls 
And the wise ways of the old
It's been put to good use
Except for the days where I wish I were normal
Where i wish it was we
Who could break, but still have our past to learn from
To rely from
To live from
But in this case it's sans we
There's no such poem
There's no such song
Where we is a factor
For me to sing along

I am the matchmaker
I am the therapist
I am the shoulder
I am the friend
I am the teacher
I am the life
I am the smiles
I am the light
But who can I be
To fill this gap
Cause I keep jumping over it
And I turn to look back
I don't leave with a smile
Yet, I leave with regret
But I guess it is better off
for me to not fret. 

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Boy Language

Come here little girl
Begging on the edge of my bed
Your only dumb enough to not know
Your curiosity shows

I don't understand your boy language
Someone pull me out of this
I overanalyze and shit 
I'm helpless

Sunday, April 12, 2009

A short passage of passion


“Ahh…” he slowly sighed in confidence. “He decided not to share this time.”

“Gee… I’m sorry. Gah don’t you just wish you could get away from all of this. Parents are so ridiculous. Every answer has no reason attached to it. Its like they don’t realize the soul we have in us.”

“That’s poetic.” He replied, with a half hearted tone. He held glumness with a pinch of happiness behind his eyes.

We shared a glance and it took a while to break it. This moment, right now, was picture perfect. The sun was setting and the breeze through the trees whistled and rattled the perfect summer leaves. An evening like tonight, is the only thing I live for. Even if it wasn’t with someone I deeply loved, it was shared with someone who cared about me. And boy I cared about him too.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

No day but today.

I just experienced a really great night.
I just got home from seeing Rent in Chicago at the Oriental theatre. This performance was special from any other rent that i've seen because Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal were in the cast. Also we got seats in the 5th row. :) The show was phenomenal. I found myself actually tearing up because the actors did so well and moved the show along with great stage presence that actually sucked me in and let me "watch" the show, instead of looking for things that shouldn't be there. (i know, i am really bad at watching shows because once it is your life, it becomes a habit to watch it in another way... more like looking for mistakes and such.) I also thought it was great because there was a man in his 40s sitting next to me, and he was singing under his breath throughout the whole show. Usually people would think its obnoxious to hear your neighbor annoyingly singing, but it struck me in a way of joy, because i realized how such a deep show- it attracts an audience of all kinds. I've heard of a lot of people who despise the show because its about sex, drugs, and aids. But the thing people need to realize- is that, that is a big part of our world, but those things only help tell the true story, which is about friendship and not afraid of being who you are. So anyway we watched the whole show with me tearing and giving a large standing ovation to the actors for their outstanding performance, and then my friends uncle told us that he was taking us backstage. Her Uncle Buddy has connections with a lot of the people who were working backstage, and so the stage manager let us in backstage. We got a tour and got to stand on the stage. It was the most wonderful moment of my life... because i was standing on the stage of the oriental theatre, (where i also saw WICKED) and i stood there and took it all in. Theatre is one of my passions (that i don't really express too much) and to get that experience of standing on a stage... was just so cool. It was a dream come true. So we followed along our little fun tour and stood in the hallway of the dressing rooms. It was great to see all of the actors walking along getting out of costume and it was hilarious because one of the ensemble girls couldn't find her dressing room. Buddy's friend, (Who was the stage manager) then got Adam Pascal to come out and talk to us. He really was a great guy and so down to earth. It was interesting meeting him in real life because if i think about it, i used to watch rent at LEAST once a week. So it was cool! I congratulated every actor as they walked past for doing a great job. And then i saw Anthony Rapp... It was a little sad because he was sick and in his performance his voice gave out a little bit. But i wish he could just know that i thought he still did outstanding because he stuck through his performance and sang "what you own" so great. Another awkward experience was that i was standing in front of a dressing room door... pondering whether i should move or not because someone was probably going to come out or enter it anytime soon. Well two seconds later, the man who played benny walks up to me. I just nicely said "Hi" and he said "Hi".. and then i awkwardly said "Whatsup" because he was awkwardly standing there, as it looked like he was just standing to see what was up and all... and he was like "oh nothing much.... i'm just trying to get to my dressing room." and i was like "Oh ah sorry" and moved. It was really awkward and i got made fun of for the rest of the night. And the best part of my night: We ended our tour and went to the door to walk out side. As the door was slowly opening i heard a voice say "DOOR DOOR DOOR! ITS OPENING" and i looked outside and it was a HUGE flock of people waiting for the actors to come out for autographs. It was pretty cool because they all cheered for us (Thinking we were famous) and even one girl tried to get me to sign her playbook. I guess i would understand that i sort of resembled someone in the cast.. but it was really funny and now i know what its like to be a celebrity. :) oh happy day! 

And PS. Happy Easter :)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Express your truth, Echo your passion

You are sitting in a church
Every sound is echoed through the wooden ceiling 
shooting planks at all different angles
reverb the noise from us all living children

It is silent. 

The tears of faith are strolling down cheeks
Sitting in front of the lives among us
Expressing your soul from the passion you contain within.
You begin to realize, this act effected plenty
Many thoughts and fears along with hopes dreams
or even just a mind that sounds out 
     Thank you

Friday, April 3, 2009

In Envy

We as people shouldn't possibly get angry at others for having fun. 
Its only in envy where we choose to roll our eyes around
And it's only in care when we choose to stop the storm that'll blow lives away.
There is no possible way you can get scarred from living and taking advantage of every day.
I wanna laugh I wanna cry I wanna live. 
I want to see all while i can with a carpe diem
Without throwing down the Jenga in one simple pull. 
But i'm better than that so please don't yell and please dont scream.
I am not that girl you have seen. 
I am safe in my mind of all shady things
And i want to be trusted, because we all know you know. 
So please let me live before i may some how die
Because we as people shouldn't possibly get angry at others for having fun.