Thursday, October 22, 2009

When Heaven's Light Shines...

It's times like these
Where I truly look over my 18 years of life. 
Conversations are taken for granted.
It is so important to keep in contact with the ones you love
Because you never know
One day
The world can randomly take a wide turn.
Sometimes there are distractions
And sometimes there are fights
But in the end none of that is worth it
Because the love you have for someone
Or even the love you once had for someone
Will always remain within you.
Even if you just met them twice
Or even if your relationship went separate ways

The impact of a young life leaving so early
The impact of a loved one leaving too early
Turns into a tree of thoughts

It makes me look at the world through renewed eyes

Rest in peace Liza Whitacre. I met you just twice, and both times I can distinctively remember the smile you had on your face. Especially at the cast party Lauren had for musical during Thoroughly Modern Millie. I remember going to Lauren the next day and telling her about how pretty and nice I thought you were. For some reason, your presence was strong and rememberable, and I will never forget it. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

It's called Hypocrisy.

If you could see this through my eyes
You would definitely agree...
As a matter of fact-- You did see it through your eyes
A short while back
And you took the same path
Except, my story was a little more sympathetic.
Yours was just pathetic. 
It's not about the end
It's not all about me --
But maybe if your reflection shows
You can see who you've turned to be.
Sometimes I wish something could blow down your brick wall...
The stronger you seem to stand
The more it distances us. 

I've really realized; To everyone I've always been just the crawl-back-to-friend when there is nothing for them to cling on to anymore... and I'm counting the days until it happens again. Its a ticking clock and I've memorized the script.
- I just thought you'd be the last person to take your bow. 

So my answer is... Yes you are free to be who you want to be. But you better not expect me to be sitting at the park bench day in and day out and then miraculously be there when you decide to take your lunch break.  If you even send a carrier pigeon once in a while, then That at least shows that you care just a little. And then life would be back in its place. I know your used to a crowd of fans, but thats not me anymore. Sometimes you have to give to get. So I'm stopping myself before my constant living nightmare happens again. You've heard me vent about all of my friends who have done the same thing to me... so what makes me want to stay to watch the show again? There is no stop sign to a change... so whenever you feel free to be that person you used to be... the whole titanic is waiting for you by the ticking clock in the lobby.  

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I'm Just a penny.

Loosing a best friend;
It turns me inside out like a fever
And even when she's getting close
Not even one phone call
Not even one text
Im not the rock that I used to be.
I was dropped off from the tallest city scraper
Like a single unappreciated penny
And i fell with the rain.

Hey 2 4 6 8
I really do appreciate.
And I'm not a frickin cheerleader
Sometimes they need a little cheering up too. 
But like always
Its just another one sided story.
My dues are up 
And I'm no longer needed
There's the exit, and thank you for visiting.

I wonder what its like to be loved full time
Cause suddenly
The only person who matters is him.
It really is true that you forget the world around you.
Previously on lost
even he was an old friend.

Funny thing is
Through this windy situation
She was transformed as her own worst enemy.
Maybe thats why they were best friends in the first place. 

Friday, October 16, 2009

Just another sad so long

Every heart should be handled with care 
Cause your palm will gage with scars 
From every heart you've smashed with your bare hands. 
Soon enough you wont be able to handle your past mistakes
And your mind will rage with regret from your bad reputation
So why continue to kill the only good part of life you have?
Sometimes people can't change.
No matter how much you believe. 

Saturday, October 3, 2009

11 thoughts

1.) "Into The Wild" was a great movie.
2.) I hate the fact I'm witnessing a game being played.
3.) I always seem to hate who I've started.
4.) Money won't buy you happiness.
5.) I was invisible. Now your invisible. 
6.) I'm starting to wonder which is better... Drama or the silent treatment? 
(With drama, ends always meet. The silent treatment leads to a blank)
7.) What would happen if i lived outside with no technology and tried to survive?
8.) Why do I always waste my time trying to make friends with douche bags?
9.) The music scene is a scam. 3/4 of musician's are selfish.
10.) I hate the fact that I am the unlucky one of the bunch so everyone can use me as an example of why they appreciate love. Because it doesn't come easy. 

and 11.) The funny thing is, you'd think this is about this one person, but behind these words is my real life and not the false thing that i wouldn't consider my life.