When Heaven's Light Shines...

It's times like these

Where I truly look over my 18 years of life. 

Conversations are taken for granted.

It is so important to keep in contact with the ones you love

Because you never know

One day

The world can randomly take a wide turn.

Sometimes there are distractions

And sometimes there are fights

But in the end none of that is worth it

Because the love you have for someone

Or even the love you once had for someone

Will always remain within you.

Even if you just met them twice

Or even if your relationship went separate ways

The impact of a young life leaving so early

The impact of a loved one leaving too early

Turns into a tree of thoughts

It makes me look at the world through renewed eyes

Rest in peace Liza Whitacre. I met you just twice, and both times I can distinctively remember the smile you had on your face. Especially at the cast party Lauren had for musical during Thoroughly Modern Millie. I remember going to Lauren the next day and telling her about how pretty and nice I thought you were. For some reason, your presence was strong and rememberable, and I will never forget it. 

It's called Hypocrisy.

If you could see this through my eyes

You would definitely agree...

As a matter of fact-- You did see it through your eyes

A short while back

And you took the same path

Except, my story was a little more sympathetic.

Yours was just pathetic. 

It's not about the end

It's not all about me --

But maybe if your reflection shows

You can see who you've turned to be.

Sometimes I wish something could blow down your brick wall...

The stronger you seem to stand

The more it distances us. 

I've really realized; To everyone I've always been just the crawl-back-to-friend when there is nothing for them to cling on to anymore... and I'm counting the days until it happens again. Its a ticking clock and I've memorized the script.

- I just thought you'd be the last person to take your bow. 

So my answer is... Yes you are free to be who you want to be. But you better not expect me to be sitting at the park bench day in and day out and then miraculously be there when you decide to take your lunch break.  If you even send a carrier pigeon once in a while, then That at least shows that you care just a little. And then life would be back in its place. I know your used to a crowd of fans, but thats not me anymore. Sometimes you have to give to get. So I'm stopping myself before my constant living nightmare happens again. You've heard me vent about all of my friends who have done the same thing to me... so what makes me want to stay to watch the show again? There is no stop sign to a change... so whenever you feel free to be that person you used to be... the whole titanic is waiting for you by the ticking clock in the lobby.  

I'm Just a penny.

Loosing a best friend;

It turns me inside out like a fever

And even when she's getting close

Not even one phone call

Not even one text

Im not the rock that I used to be.

I was dropped off from the tallest city scraper

Like a single unappreciated penny

And i fell with the rain.

Hey 2 4 6 8

I really do appreciate.

And I'm not a frickin cheerleader

Sometimes they need a little cheering up too. 

But like always

Appreciation

Its just another one sided story.

My dues are up 

And I'm no longer needed

There's the exit, and thank you for visiting.

I wonder what its like to be loved full time

Cause suddenly

The only person who matters is him.

It really is true that you forget the world around you.

Previously on lost

even he was an old friend.

Funny thing is

Through this windy situation

She was transformed as her own worst enemy.

Maybe thats why they were best friends in the first place. 

Just another sad so long

Every heart should be handled with care 

Cause your palm will gage with scars 

From every heart you've smashed with your bare hands. 

Soon enough you wont be able to handle your past mistakes

And your mind will rage with regret from your bad reputation

So why continue to kill the only good part of life you have?

Sometimes people can't change.

No matter how much you believe. 

11 thoughts

1.) "Into The Wild" was a great movie.

2.) I hate the fact I'm witnessing a game being played.

3.) I always seem to hate who I've started.

4.) Money won't buy you happiness.

5.) I was invisible. Now your invisible. 

6.) I'm starting to wonder which is better... Drama or the silent treatment? 

(With drama, ends always meet. The silent treatment leads to a blank)

7.) What would happen if i lived outside with no technology and tried to survive?

8.) Why do I always waste my time trying to make friends with douche bags?

9.) The music scene is a scam. 3/4 of musician's are selfish.

10.) I hate the fact that I am the unlucky one of the bunch so everyone can use me as an example of why they appreciate love. Because it doesn't come easy. 

and 11.) The funny thing is, you'd think this is about this one person, but behind these words is my real life and not the false thing that i wouldn't consider my life.