Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I'm hot and I'm cold.

I'm listening to the Starbucks valentines day soundtrack Cd. Its wonderful. Its mixed with modern and classic music. And so now I'm thinking about valentines day. :(. well. no. actually I'm not that sad. I guess I'm just a bit disappointed because a month ago i thought this might be the first valentines day i would actually spend with someone. But i guess not. Maybe I'll just go see State and Madison that night... I Don't know. Im just so confused with what i want to do right now. I'm hot and I'm cold, I'm yes and I'm no, I'm in and I'm out, I'm up and I'm down. My mind is changing every day... better yet... my mind is changing every hour. I just wish i could maybe have the nerve to pick up the phone and just make a silly little phone call... but everyone knows life is not like the movies. People aren't as understanding. People aren't that nice... Its funny how looking at everyone around, it looks so easy. But i never once has witnessed this situation in an easy way... and I never get my way. I'm not one to complain... but I just don't know what i want now. I don't want anything, yet, i want something. someone explain to me my feelings. You see... this is why i watch lost... it gets my mind off from scrambling these stupid thoughts around. 

1 comment:

Allison said...

hi alanna hahaha i'm kinda creepin on your blog.

but this intrigued me.
because it's a person's natural instinct to want something, but it's based on what the mind acts towards that makes you think that you don't want anything.
in this sense you have to fight the logic in your mind to be at peace with what's in your heart.
or vice versa, because neither can live while the other survives. (i had to quote that, i just had to.)