"I need to go jump into more streams."

Sometimes i wish i could just make my own mistakes, and learn from them myself. I think when you do so, you learn much more about yourself, and your life has more depth. I just realized that I really haven't cried in a long time... And through that non-existent experience, my life feels so shallow. It's missing the depth and inspiration i am striving for. The only thing i can think of on the top of my mind that stresses me out... is whether i can be able to wake myself up in the morning due to my laziness. And now i wonder... is it healthy living a life thats always uplifting? I feel so immune to negative feelings because I've been practicing optimism for a long time, and I'm used to the negative things that repeat in my life every so often. I need to reach out for a much crazier life i feel. I feel i am way too responsible that i haven't been able to reach for the new undiscovered aspects in life... I guess it's cause i feel fright when its the moment in life where you can take a leap across a stream to get to the other side. Its always the fear of, "what if i don't make it"... Well what would happen... You jump, fall in, land in water, and your life turns into a brand new unexpected path... I need to go jump into more streams.